Make it Happen with Jacqui Macdonald - Seven Hidden Treasures to Unlock the Menopause

In this episode of the Make It Happen series, I sit down with Jacqui, author of The Art of Being and The Magical Third, to explore how mindset, gratitude and intentional living can transform the menopause experience.

Jacqui shares:
- Daily rituals to boost happiness and well-being 
- The importance of gratitude and intentionality 
- Why mindset shifts are key during menopause 
- Her upcoming plans for menopause support circles 

📖 Get Jacqui’s FREE book from her website https://themagicalthird.com 
Follow Jacqui on Threads: @beingJacqui

Transcript

I'm really excited to be back in the studio and to connect with a lady called Jacqui McDonald. Jacqui and I met through very strange circumstances which we're going to talk about in the interview And we also talk about menomorphasis.  The magical third phase of your life because it's an invitation, right there's a doorway there and you can choose to step through it and you can choose to make it the most magical time in your life or you can say well you know this is kind of rubbish I feel a bit invisible now and this is everything that I thought or feared menopause would be so it's the the the first gift is about choosing how you want to feel and how you want to experience the third magical third phase of your life to be come and join.
[Music] 
Well I'm really excited to be joined today by Jacqui McDonald. Hi Jacqui Hello Ali How are you today i'm good And I'm extra excited because I was just teasing Jacqui I was a bit of a stalker because I read her first book um The Art of Being from a um library app and I then tried to get copies of the book to share with some friends because I loved it so much Um and it was Jacqui's website was no longer available and um I couldn't find her on Google or anywhere And I eventually I tracked you down on LinkedIn didn't I?  You did very well You were you were a brilliant stalker I was extremely impressed I was absolutely delighted You were my you my first and only stalker And uh yeah So I I really did love that book and we I'm really excited with the second book. So before we launch into talking about your second book do please introduce yourself. Yeah so I'm Jacqui Macdonald. I am a a writer and a speaker and I do various pieces of consultancy work. My great passion is nature and the environment So I do some corporate work around that But also for years I have been working as a mindfulness teacher and meditation teacher and um I love helping women kind of find that real essence of who they are and connecting to a a a greater power and um helping them understand how that can really direct their life And then I went through well I'm still going through I'm in peri-menopause so I'm not through menopause yet by any means and I was I was really quite shocked by what was happening to me and actually didn't realise to start with that it probably was menopause related um and then when I started putting the pieces together and I thought you know we need to be talking about this more we need to be talking more about this topic and listen I know that we've come a long way even in the last 10 even in the last five years in terms of talking around menopause and how that affects women's women's bodies. We're talking a lot about and there's a lot more clinical research that's going into supporting women and um you know that I think the medical profession is now finally getting up to scratch in terms of supporting women with what's happening with their bodies But I still don't think we're having enough conversations about what's happening to us um energetically spiritually mentally in our minds emotionally because there is a big shift occurring there So really I so I started I'd been wanting to write another book for quite some time but but there was nothing that wanted to come forward and then I you know I just very naturally started writing about my experience and what I was going through and what I was doing to help me navigate this really interesting and actually really empowering and magical time in a woman's life But it can also be really really tough So yeah I started exploring this by writing it and um and and and ended up writing another uh short but very sweet book um all about the magic of menopause Brilliant Yeah I think a lot of us um when we do start going through the peri-menopause we don't realise at all that's what it is because nowadays we feel so young don't we we don't you know and that was something that happened to old you know my mom when she was old not us when we're young So a lot of people a lot of women that I know get symptoms um and don't ever put it down to menopause They just One of my um best friends thought she had a brain tumour cuz she just couldn't figure out why you know what all this brain fog was and she didn't realise it was brain fog Yeah Um so I think even we have come a long way in 5 to 10 years but I think there's still a lot to do to for us to educate each other as to what it is So um you mentioned there briefly what inspired you to write seven hidden treasures to unlock lock the menopause Was there a specific defining moment in your own journey that you thought I've got to write a book about this yes So there was a there was a defining moment in terms of my realisation that actually this I I am experiencing um menopause symptoms and it had been quite gradual and I had been so I'd been working in a um a corporate job I'd been um head of sustainability for a pharmaceutical company and which was a job that I absolutely loved and I was really passionate about it and um I started to notice that passion waning a little bit but I just thought maybe I'm experiencing a bit of burnout which might have been the case as well Um but then other things as well And and really when the when the short-term memory starts going and again and I didn't realise I just start to think God I used to be so good at my job and now I'm absolutely rubbish at my job And I would join meetings and I wouldn't be able to remember what what had been discussed in the meeting before unless I took a load of notes and I would have to be constantly checking notes to see what had been discussed and what had been agreed And a lot of the time I just couldn't remember and to the point that it was sort of quite embarrassing And also you know when you're working with a young team and you know everybody's really dynamic and everyone's on it and you just start to it it's it's kind of a little bit cringy when you're just you know you're forgetting this stuff Um so so that was all happening and then actually it got to the point where I left that job because I just wasn't able to perform um the way I had been And so that had took a massive hit in my confidence as well I'd always been somebody who was you know quite confident and able to hold my own in in most situations and suddenly found myself feeling really unconfident And then but again I didn't really attribute it to menopause I I just thought oh maybe I'm just not as as good as my job any anymore And then um I just there was the kind of not caring about work but the not caring about work started seeping into not caring about lots and lots of different things And I was actually I was out on a walk I lived down in the the New Forest in England which is beautiful And we've got some stunning places to go for a walk And I've got a lovely dog And I was out walking my dog And she ran off and um she'd been gone for quite some time I was with my fiancée at the time And I said "Well you know if she doesn't come back whatever Who cares?" And and he said "What what you talking about you you love your dog." And I said "What well you know," and he said "That that's really not like you." And that and that's when I thought that is quite strange And so I went to see the doctor and I was really lucky I saw this brilliant doctor and she said "It absolutely everything that you're describing sounds like a crash in oestrogen and a lot of these symptoms." So I call it emotional flatlining when you just like you just don't really care about anything And it was interesting I I was talking to a lady this morning who had a similar thing She said "I got to the stage where I didn't care about my kids I didn't care about my dog I didn't care about my husband." And she said "I was so close to just saying I'm leaving I'm I'm I'm going off I'm starting a new life because I can't." And she said "Thank goodness I didn't." And then again she went and got some some support and some HRT and and um got herself back in balance But that to me was really shocking That was a really shocking experience going through that and and kind of realising that um you know I had really shut off emotionally from from so much stuff So So not only did I then seek some medical help I thought I really want to write about it and I really want to share my story with other women because I'm sure other women are going through this And actually the more I have spoken about it the more I've realised that actually these things are quite common and women are going through these things and and either attribute it to burnout or um or perhaps think they're experiencing some kind of depression Um but very often it is related to hormones and when that oestrogen crashes these are quite common things that we're feeling So I just felt really inspired to talk about it and share my story and hopefully you know if other people can relate to it and think "Oh my goodness that's exactly how I'm feeling and I thought it was something else but going to get the support that they need to help them feel better." Yeah Yeah Yeah I mean you you highlighted a key point at the very beginning of what you'd said which was that you got a really good doctor because I think that is the issue isn't it not everybody has access to a really good doctor who understands what menopause is or um what somebody could be going through at that specific time It's I think it's a really big issue and I was so lucky and um my doctor is female but she's relatively young She's early 30s so she hasn't experienced menopause yet But she said when she was reading up about it when she was training she couldn't believe the lack of the lack of you know proper clinical data and clinical support and and and evidence for supporting women So it's something that she became extremely passionate about and started studying more and more So I was so lucky yeah that I met her But I've met so many people that have gone to their doctors and um you know haven't had the right support or have been put on anti-depressants or and and you know even things like you know sleep can be a real challenge during menopause and um you know instead of doctors kind of putting the pieces together like putting women on sleeping tablets or again even anti-depressants which can uh that there's there's longer term problems with sleeping tablets and and anti-depress essence you know you can feel a bit you can feel a bit groggy and zoned out And actually sometimes what they need is a little bit of help with getting that hormonal balance right And look I'm I'm not here to tell anybody whether they should or shouldn't um take HRT The sort of the the physical medical side of it is not my area of expertise at all But I think that women should have the choice And I can I can only say from my personal experience that HRT has been an absolute gamechanger. It's really it's really brought me back to myself and um you know restored that sense of self and that sense of confidence And then what what that's enabled me to do is then to tap into some of the really cool stuff about menopause is that I think you can't really do unless you're physically well So so for me that's one of the the first steps is to really start connecting with your body and understanding you know what's going on with your thoughts and your mind and your thinking and your body and and and and start to acknowledge if you if your body does need a little bit more support And as I say it's up to every individual woman whether she wants to take HRT or not And there are some other natural supplements and natural routes to go down But um I think probably for most women the body does need some extra support And and then I hear women saying well you know women have been older women sometimes women have been going through menopause for years and we were all fine and we got through it and you lot are all making quite a fuss about it But I do also think there's something in um where where we are where this generation of women is where our diet is different very different from women say 20 30 years ago There's way more processed stuff in our diet There's way more sugar There's much less nutrition in the soil naturally So our bodies aren't being as nourished as the bodies of women were say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say say 20 years ago you know not to mention all the other stuff that's going on you know even things like social media and all this stuff so it it it's different I don't think it's fair to say well we got through it and and we didn't we didn't make a fuss out of it and and also I think you know back in the day if women did speak up it was potentially quite dangerous for them you know they could be ostracised or you know and you I'm going back a hundred years not 10 years but you know very often we hear and we watch we watch programs or or or read um historical fiction you hear about you know women becoming hysterical of a certain age and they were they were sent off to sanitariums or whatever So um thank goodness we're not there We've moved on a long way Um but as I say I think for our generation of women no no other generation of women have gone through the menopause given all the external circumstances that that we are experienced in our lives in terms of of of diet and other environmental factors as well Yeah And I think we we do put a lot more demands on our body and our minds than than we ever used to Yeah Yeah So without giving away too much can you share one or two of the hidden treasures that women can unlock during menopause yeah I'm absolutely delighted to do that and I really happy to give away it all to be honest because I just I just I just want to share it and um and and and tell everyone And look we've already we've already touched on it to to some extent The the first step for me is is um is is acknowledging really and and noticing what's going on in your body and actually empowering yourself to say you know I want to I I want to feel better and and and committing and being quite intentional around feeling better and and and and how you're how you're going to experience what I call the magical third phase of your life because it's an invitation right there's a doorway there and you can choose to step through it and you can choose to make it the most magical time in your life Or you can say well you know this is kind of rubbish I feel a bit invisible now and this is everything that I thought or feared menopause would be So it's the the the first gift is about choosing how you want to feel and how you want to experience the third magical third phase of your life to be And then I think it's about and the wonderful thing about menopause I think um and I've talked about the kind of the not caring and I've really pondered about that I'm like what's the what's the physiological purpose of that but I feel like mother nature does shut shut off um all these other aspects that we traditionally cared about I mean we've gone through our whole life the three traditional phases of women are maiden mother crone You know the maidens there just kind of wide-eyed and and and and finding herself and um and then we step into the the motherhood phase and that we might be mothers to children but we might be mothers to our businesses but that phase of our life is often about giving elsewhere and and and and giving to somebody else And then and then this sort of not caring bit I think is an invitation to go okay so finally it's about me it's about what do I want so so so the second treasure I believe is about really connecting with yourself and going internally listening to your body supporting what your body needs and also listening to your mind and and and thinking about really thinking about you how you how you want to be and how you want to step forward into this next phase of your life And then and then and then we move into things like um some of the traditional mindfulness techniques that were in my first book that I wrote about but I think they're really important as well It's about it's about really pausing and connecting and and noticing the world around us And that's that's when you start to when you start to kind of feel into the sort of quantum realm and the energetics of the quantum realm I mean that can be quite a magical experience as well And then we go through and we develop And I also think um the last one I'll speak about I think there's an invitation to reconnect with our feminine frequency which I think for a lot of us um and as you said because we put demands on ourel and because we're really busy with work and our schedules and doing this and we want to achieve that which is all great but there's quite a lot of masculine energy associated with that and there's nothing wrong with that There's nothing wrong with achieving and pushing unless it's out of balance So I think there's an invitation there to rebalance with the feminine energy to slow down to learn to to receive more and and and just kind of feel into the um the the beauty of being a woman and what that feels like And I and I think for a lot of women as well there's um an elevated sense once once you get through all the rubbish bits There is an ele elevated sense of sensuality and sexuality that can open up a whole different realm for women and help them discover and enjoy you know parts of themselves which in turn leads to improved confidence and improved knowing of self And then I think that's where that kind of inner wisdom And you quite often hear people talking about menopause being the wise woman era And it's that sort of inner knowing that comes from that um feminine frequency and just the slowing down and and feeling into all of that And I think that's when that's when things can start to become really magical Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah And you emphasise in the book about women in menopause stepping into leadership roles creating businesses and sharing communities Um sorry shaping communities which I love um because I think we do shape communities And you've got that beautiful menomorphasis role model um which um as a someone that helps your powerful transformation So how did that help you in your transformation and why well to be honest I think I'm I'm sort of still in that metamorphosis um phase and um you know going through that transformation and I'm I'm still at the stage where I am still recovering some of my confidence and and and some of those elements that I thought I I lost I'm you know I'm I'm kind of I'm I'm still on on that journey But I think there are some fantastic role models uh of women who in this later stage of life are just deciding that they're going to do things on their terms and you know and and and really doing what they want to do Um I think Carol Vorderman is a great example of somebody I mean I mean she's wonderful and had a brilliant career but she's really speaking out now and really speaking up against things that she thinks aren't right in society and and um if there's something that's unjust she'll really call it out And she's really got this kind of activism and she and she looks absolutely sensational while she's while she's doing it and and and and then and and that's fine and that's her choice and some people will criticise that And then you've also got women like Pamela Anderson who I think is also if you look at her career and she was so modelled by the industry and what they wanted the perfect woman to be and she played along with it for such a long time And then I think you know I think she's a great example of a woman that's going through or gone through a metamorphosis and she's like no I'm doing this on my own terms now and I'm defining beauty in my own way And again she'll get criticised for that And that's the thing You can't you can't really win But um you know it's it's very empowering when you when you realize that actually none of that matters and it's what you want and what what makes you happy And then I think that's what enables women to to step forward more in these leadership roles or um in the community to be doing more and and and to be to be holding space for other women to to empower themselves And I think uh it's just such a a magical time of life and I think we're only really starting to learn how to get the juice out of it Yeah Yeah Yeah So you very bravely shared about having lost your confidence and you're talking about women that are now um appearing to be very confident in what they're sharing and and how they're and their identity Would you have any specific tips or advice for women who feel that menopause has actually stripped them of that confidence and their sense of identity well I think the first thing that I'd say is that that's completely normal Um it maybe doesn't happen to every woman but it happens to a lot of women And if you are feeling that then you're not going mad and you're not alone And this is a very common experience for women to go through I mean we talked about the brain fog and the memory loss You know I think many women also think that it might be early onset dementia or or those sorts of things But yeah I think that the confidence crash is very real real And um I speak to to women online as well and and just really random things in terms of the anxiety that they suddenly start feeling that they never had before Even things like being worried about driving and um you know so a lot of these things can come in They're really common Um go and see your doctor Hopefully you'll get some really good support and ask specifically at your GP if you can speak to somebody who is really knowledgeable about menopause and who has that expertise I've got some friends who have um paid for um menopause expertise which I know not everybody um can do that So hopefully um you can you can access but you know keep keep asking keep asking the questions and and and get the right support in place and knowing knowing that it's something that you'll go through it's normal and that you can build yourself back up and and and also if you can try and look upon it as a as a gift as an opportunity that this sort of breaking down of confidence of of who you are and it's a willingness I think to let go of all the girls and all the women that you once were to make way for a new woman to step forward So also just leaning into the fact that it's part of the process and that you almost have to go into the chrysalis to experience the full metamorphosis and that you will grow but you have an opportunity to grow beautiful wings the size and shape of colour that you want them to be So you know unfortunately I don't think there is a magic wand that you can say all of that stuff is going to go away you're not going to experience it But I almost think it's like it's like stepping into the fire and it's going to be painful but within that fire there's an opportunity to forge something really really new and really beautiful So it's partly about being brave as well Yeah Yeah Yeah Um your first book The Art of Being obviously has probably given you well you've probably got some of this in the menopause book Um because you you do you have any daily habits or rituals or mindset shifts that have helped you personally i'm suspecting some of them are from the book So yeah And it was it was interesting because so when I wrote the book I was um I had a a really strong daily practice of of meditation and um I felt extremely connected and then and then when I accepted the job with the pharmaceutical company and I was also single-handedly raising two teenage kids at the time So life was really really busy and stressful And it's ironic isn't it because those are exactly the times where you should be doing more meditation and doing more of that stuff But you know um like many people that my those sort of really good habits that I'd gotten into had had fallen away to some extent Um and actually it wasn't until I you know I realised that I wasn't myself that I thought I really need to call on I've got these tools I know these tools I really need to call on them and bring them back into my life So I I I started with the real the classic and the real the real simple practice of gratitude And and I and I always think it's like if if an inter there's an interview with a supermodel and they say "You look amazing What's your secret?" And they say "Oh I I drink eight glasses of water a day." And you think "Oh that's really boring That's right I think I think gratitude is a bit like that's like oh yeah I've heard that But actually the drinking the eight glasses of water and the having the gratitude practices they really really work So So I I spend about an hour in the morning before I um before I actually get up and I'm lucky because I I'm quite a morning I wake up fairly fairly early I wake up about half past 6 So that gives me time to really sort of feel into my day Um I bookend my day with gratitude So I start my day you know just just reminding myself about how lucky I am not even just in terms of possessions or whatever but just um just my health and and and so many things and nature and just really checking in with all of that Um and then I I have become really intentional about my day So I spend time in the morning really thinking about you know who do I want to be today um what am I claiming for myself today and and setting an intention that you know for example I'm going to I'm going to try my absolute best to show up with love whoever I meet I'm going to really monitor my um my mood and my mindset and my thoughts and I'm going to be really strict with myself if negative thoughts do come in and keep that positivity going and and keep reminding myself you know how how lucky in many ways that I am and you know I'm even intentional in the morning about what I'm going to eat and I find that's made a big difference that's another thing about menopause is the weight gain and it suddenly becomes really hard to shift some of that weight So I now in the morning s like say okay here's here's what I'm going to eat today and just spending that little bit of time in the morning being really intentional and sometimes I will do a 10-minute meditation and I'll you know I'll I'll I'll connect with that the the quantum field and I feel the infinite power of that Um but but sometimes I don't um every morning I go for a walk I mean I've got a dog so I have to anyway But that that is even if I didn't have a dog I would you know my morning walk and connecting with nature And I love just the practice of I try and like rather than walking along and saying "Oh there's a tree and there's this bird and and you you know what everything is." Just trying to look at everything with a completely open mind not calling it a tree or not calling it leaves on the ground or just almost like being in awe of everything around you Um it's practices like those that I do on a on a daily basis that I have found have really helped shift things And actually since the start of this year you know I didn't set any New Year's resolutions or certainly not any traditional ones but I did decide that I was going to really focus on my happiness and my mood and feeling good and feeling positive And I just had the best year and it just keeps getting better and better And um you know a lot of it a lot of a lot of it is is mindset and I think that is something and that a lot of that is in the first book I think that's something that we can work on and we can cultivate Yeah Yeah Yeah No I love that because I I love the whole be do have concept but particularly the f first part that you have to be who you want to be first before you can do the doing and have the having So um it's so important that we do show up every day and decide who we want to be because we you know we we don't have to be who we were yesterday Exactly And you know we can be a completely different person and and make different choices for ourselves So I really love that Yeah Yeah Yeah Agree So a quick fire round Um what book have you read that made a difference to your life and why? Oh my goodness So I I started reading I suppose what are classed as self-help books probably about 20 25 years ago and the first ones I read were the Abraham Hicks books right and uh and I was like w what wow you can and and and I started to apply some of that and I you know my whole life I'd wanted to have a horse and I was like okay and then I I I had a horse and it's just so many lovely things a really powerful one for me again an absolute classic um was Eckhart Tolle "the Power of Now that I must have read that about 10 times that kind of sinking into the present moment And and again some of these things can sometimes sound a bit cliche but it really is powerful when you're like hang on that it it's this it's this It's all here So that was a really inspirational one for me Um there's a book called Return to Love by Marianne Williamson Um which I think is really powerful in terms of living a more openhearted life which is something that I'm really embracing this year as part of my intentionality And again I feel that makes a huge difference And then um a slightly more recent one but I think it's blooming Brilliant and every woman should read it is um Untamed by Glennon Doyle um which is just such a wonderful reminder of um who we are as women and and the fact that we've been so conditioned by society and actually if we're brave enough to peel back some of these layers that there's um there is just such a a wonderful um power to women I think that that we could all do with unleashing Yeah Yeah No some great books there for um well just generally um but to to completely change your whole way of thinking about life and what you can possibly achieve What is your superpower

I honestly think my superpower is being happy I think I'm really good at being happy And I think compared to all of my friends and family many of whom have got a lot more than I do but I am the I'm the I'm the happiest person I know And I intend to remain that way And I think honestly like that's quite a good superpower isn't it it is I mean because you could be invisible or you could like you could fly or you could you could do all these things but if you're not happy what's the point in having a superpower So I think Yeah it's quite simple and maybe not particularly um spectacular but actually it is Well it is It's life-changing Yeah Dear I really like that And I only stalk people that have got happinesses Excellent Um you've mentioned that this year has started off really really well for you Is there something extra special you want to achieve by the end of 2025? gosh I mean in terms of personal stuff I've I've achieved so much recently I'm extremely lucky that I have a fantastic romantic relationship Um we got engaged fairly recently second time around for both of us So thank you So we'll probably get married next year and I'm fulling um planning the full kind of Greek Mama Mia wedding We're going all in Um I live in a beautiful place I've got a stunning little cottage in the middle of the New Forest Um I've got wonderful friends Um I've got so so many lovely things So I feel really fulfilled from that perspective I think the one the one thing that's calling me that I think I might like to do is is actually to start a um a menopause circle for women um you know maybe just start something online quite small but I still feel there's like an opportunity to talk more and for women to to get together and exchange stories and to inspire each other and and you know who knows where that could go I think potentially some of these really small circles really do have the opportunity to change the world So I think that's something that's sort of there that I I need to activate It's um it's it's an idea that I need to I need to really kind of bring it forth now and make it happen Yeah Know I think that's a really good um idea because it is around those safe spaces where feel women feel more comfortable to open up and share what they're feeling and what they're going through and get the support that they need So I think that's a really lovely idea What would be your advice to a younger Jacqui?

um I think um pretty much everything that's in the So the Baz Luhrmann song "sunscreen" Yeah wear more sunscreen You're not as fat as you think you are You know all of these things And also I Well I think the main one I mean I was I I was I was quite a stress head when I was younger and I worried about a lot of things So I think I'd just say it's okay It's it's all going to be okay you actually can't get it wrong Even when you're getting it wrong you're getting it right Relax It's all going to be okay I think would probably be the advice I would share Yeah Yeah Very wise advice So where can we connect with you um because people don't want to go down the route to try and find you Um where can we buy the book well the book's available for free on my website Okay So if any if anybody if anybody wants the book just go to my website It's the magagicalthird.com Um and uh it's an ebook so I'm very happy just to send that to whoever wants the book It's there Um social media I'm not really on much social media apart from threads Um I I have a an Instagram page but I don't really do an awful lot with it I'm quite active on threads because I'm more of a kind of words person than a picture person And I find threads is actually a really good place So I'm @beingJacqui on threads Um yeah or or go to the go to the website the magical third.com Brilliant Well thank you really very much Jacqui for joining me today in the make it happen studio And I really think you've shared a lot of wise information for women that are going through menopause or going through the peri-menopause um and to know that they aren't alone in it that you know there are other women that are going through similar things So thank you very much for joining me today Well thank you for inviting me and it's been so nice to connect with you Ally I really hope you enjoyed this latest recording of the Make It Happen series And I'd love you to subscribe to our podcast channel or if you're watching this on our YouTube channel just click the subscribe button We'd love you to continue hearing and seeing more of our Make It Happen interviews If you're not a member of Costa Women yet but you're a woman who is living in Spain or a woman who is thinking about moving to Spain do come and join us at costwomen.com It's completely free to join In the meantime I look forward to sharing more Make it Happen interviews with you Bye for now